Parts

Parts of me have gone to sleep.
They are not gone, as I had feared....
They just slumber while I grow
In other ways.

So my friend says.

My focus is now on other things.
Motherhood. Staying home.
Identities lost,
Identity found.
Yet almost 5 years in, these facets still don't merge.
Instead they pull me apart, never moving in
Harmony.

Maybe they are not supposed to.

Worst of all,
I no longer have the energy that comes from
Predictability.
No two days are ever the same.
For better or for worse.
I rarely seem to
Hit my stride.
Or keep it when I do.
I don't have days I can slack.
Not without repercussions that seem to last for weeks.

I am bone tired.
And I wish that, for a time,
those parts of me that hibernate while I
Learn to be
The entity
I want to be
Could lend me some of that restfulness.