Friday, June 13, 2008

The No Fight Four

Boy do I have a handy new relationship tip for you! Cut fighting by 75% guaranteed! (certain restrictions apply…)

No doubt you have heard of the Johari window ( . Or maybe that’s just me. My partner and I co-created a new one which will go down in history as the No Fight Four. Maybe not as catchy, but you would not believe how hard it is to name these things!

Like the Johari window, there are two axis. The first is the question: how important is this? Is it about something inane or is it life or death? The second is: can it be proven in some way? Can you look it up? There is no point in fighting over things you can prove. Just look it up and be gracious when you are right.

Not Important and Provable

If you have time, go for solving it. Otherwise drop it. Example, who won the Tony for best actress in a musical in 2004? Only important to the one who won it, really. Not to say that BROADWAY isn't important, though. I'm just saying.

Important and Provable

Go ahead and find out the answer. Its important, after all. An example would be: is the kid over for a play date allergic to peanut butter? If you don’t know, serve something else instead!!

Not Important and Not Provable

Geez, get a life and quit quibbling! These are the ones you fight about just because you are bored. An example is which person forgot to turn off the sprinklers. Unless you want to install cameras EVERYWHERE in your life, let it go.

Important and Not Provable

These are the ones where you set an appointment to talk and hash it all out. Agreement doesn’t need to happen, but respect for the other person’s view does. For example, is there a god?

OK, so this won't solve ALL fights, but it will cut down on them! Let me know how it works for you!!

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