Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Grumps.

I am grumpy. Nothing is going to make it better. So there.

The last couple of days have been really hard. I have been grumpy and not really able to get into a better space. I know that the boyo has been a big ignorer, which is always hard to tolerate. I know that I am worried about finding another work from home job thats not a scam since my old contract has pretty much dried up. I know that my head and body hurt from muscle tension.

What I don't know is how to get out of this space. For a while I fought it. I tried talking to myself about needing to feel better. No dice. I tried chilling out and doing something fun. Not even a spark of improvement. In fact, now I feel grumpier. If there were grumpy Olympics I would win the gold. In fact, I bet I can out-grump anyone in cyberspace. So there.

I could try being compassionate to myself. No. Don't wanna. I could meditate. NO. Really don't wanna. I could do yoga. No way. Geez. If I did any of that I might get in a better mood and then where would I be?

Dang it, it's hard to stay grumpy now cause the baby woke up and is smiling at me and singing a little wake up song. Maintaining a good grump takes just the right balance and if I start noticing good things instead of dwelling on the bad I will totally lose it.

Great. Now Pablo is cooperating with me and being sweet while we play a super cool division mah jong game. Sheppard's may be the coolest site EVER for kids. The baby is giving me zerberts. Phooey. I give up. I won't be the biggest grump. Aw, man....

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