Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Wow has life been crazy lately. Let me sum up.

My defunct job got it's funk back and I am working from home again. This is great news on the money side of life, but hard from a time management perspective. On days when I work too much I wish I didn't have to work at all, and on days when there is no work I get anxious that the lovely money will vanish again into the ether. sigh.... There is nothing like knowing you create your own anxiety.

My boyo is in day camp. He started last week and seems to really like it. We are thrilled. Of course, this has made me rethink homeschooling for kindergarten. Should he be in school where he can be around other kids all the time? Maybe yes, maybe no. Understand, when he is home he is getting progressively more cranky. Being away from home is clearly tiring him out. He is such an introvert, and he needs his space. School doesn't give him that. But I have absolutely failed at finding a social setting where he can join in and be part of the group. He is just too unlike most other kids. Unless he went to this one certain private school where he could be with peers. If he will take the test. Oy. What to do.

Of course, we can't even send him to the school we would want him to attend until he takes an IQ test. We aren't concerned with his IQ being high enough IF he cooperates, but we are not AT ALL confident that he will comply with the testing. Pablo is a guy who does what he wants with a passion and digs in his heels on anything he doesn't want to do. This includes pretending he doesn't know things just to get away from talking about it sooner. Like if he was being asked questions as part of an IQ test. Ahem.

I am pretty freaked out about homeschooling. I don't think I will be good at it at all. To me anything that has school in it needs structure. And with Pablo, structure means a fight. Friends promise me that I have been unschooling him all this time and that I have done so well, but him being old enough to go to school feels like I have some higher responsibility. To MAKE him learn. I know, I know, all this control nonsense will take all the fun out of it and we will end up in some HUGE power struggle and I will damage him for life. As if I haven't already.

So, what you have missed in the how ever long it has been since I last had time to blog, is that these days I feel incredibly anxious so much of the time about so many things. Things where it feels like there is one right way and I will only know it once it has come and gone and I see it from way over here on the wrong way. sigh....


  1. Oy is right! My son is at a daycamp this week (9:30 to 1:30) with fellow homeschool kids. How sweet, right?

    But he LOVES it. I mean, really, really, really loves it. He had the same response when he visited a small, private school we were considering. It really makes me think hard about homeschooling him... and of how I can best meet his needs all around. Yes, anxiety-producing. I hope you guys find your way through...

  2. It is a dilemma isn't it. But one thing I can throw in is that structure has nothing to do with HS unless you want it to. The thought of structure makes me ill, lol, which is why an unschooling approach is my choice. The beauty of HS is that you get to run your lives, and to learn, entirely in a way that first your and the child's personality.
    Good luck!