Nipple Shields: Multiple Meanings. Who Knew?

It all started so innocently. I was looking on Amazon to confirm that they sell Lilypadz Reusable Nursing Pads. I was going to post all about how wonderful they are and how my friend who leaks like crazy can wear these without a bra and not have milk spurting all over the place. She really loves them and thinks they are the bomb. I had been planning to get a pair for myself, but I don't leak that much anymore. Or leave the house, so who cares when I do leak, you know? And Lily Padz won't really help me with that little issue of when Beebz gets a good let down response going and then stops to look around. At a party.

Anyway.

I knew what they were called, but I couldn't remember the fancy pants spelling so I typed in "nipple shields" and started to scroll down the page. And I found this:Nipple Shields (Celtic Knots). I was intrigued, and I clicked. And then I saw the photo of this very sexy nipple shield on an actual nipple. I am no prude, but this is AMAZON we are talking about! I had no idea Amazon could be so... adult, if you get my meaning. Our little Amazon has come so far. It's kind of sweet, really. This is not just an online conglomerate trying to take over the world and still make you like them kind of company. It's a GROWN UP online conglomerate trying to take over the world and still make you like them kind of company.

I just hope they are responsible in their warehousing. I mean, they sell BABY products. Maybe I have been watching too much Toy Story, but should baby toys really know that adult toys exist? Do they have separate warehouses so the baby toys don't get traumatized from seeing things they cannot possibly comprehend? I feel the need to go search the eyes of Pablo's teddy bear to see if he knows more than he lets on. Really.