Tuesday, August 12, 2008

One more reason I am not an Olympic athlete

As I have been watching the Olympics, I am amazed not only at the physical ability of the athletes, but at their mental ability. They believe in themselves with such passion, such drive, such tenacity... I am humbled. I didn't get a job that was probably a scam anyway and I have spent the day trying not to cry, feeling completely defeated by the "impossible" struggle to find a job. And then I look at some of these Olympians. I am a total wimp. Slap me down and I stay down for a while. Slap those (young, fit, amazing) people down, and they bounce up, ready for more slapping.

I try so hard to let go of the control, my expectations of how my life "should" go, and let the universe take me where I will evolve to my fullest potential. But I don't trust it. When things aren't going my way I fight it. In my head I know that evolution is not easy -- that sometimes it is the hardest experiences that teach us the most.

But I want life to be easy. I want my baby weight to fall off while I eat whatever I want and exercise only for fun. I want my kids to be easy going and cooperative. I want someone to knock on my door with a check for a million bucks as a thank you for being me.

The hard part is sometimes so HARD. Today I am tired, sad, and feel beaten down. And I feel like I am not trying hard enough. I turn on the Olympics where each athlete has given up everything else for a chance to be right where they are. Then I think of all the athletes who tried just as hard but didn't make it. Is it that I am not trying hard enough at this whole life thing, or am I just not good enough?

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes I feel the same way. I don't watch those shows that feature amazingly gifted, talented, extraordinary young people. Instead of inspiring I find them depressing. Okay, so there's a 12 year old who runs his own business blah blah blah. I'm thirty something, and what do I do? I went to school with some complete idiots, but they got the jobs they wanted. Me? No. I don't think I try hard enough, and I definitely don't know how to network or kiss ass. The olympic athletes are great...but then I think...they manage to train 8 hours a day, and I can't even manage a work out 3 days a week! I just wish I was good at SOMETHING.