Wednesday, May 27, 2009


I got out my yoga mat. It sits out, in the living room, or the bedroom, ready for 5 minutes here or there when I have time. I used to keep it rolled up, not wanting it to get dirty or dragged into play. But in keeping it separate, it never got used at all. So now it is out and I am more open to seeing times I can use it rather than focusing on when I can't.

I made a deal with Pablo. He hasn't been listening. At all. Things have been degenerating places I didn't want my parenting to go. So no more nagging. No more repetition. In exchange, I make sure I have his full attention before I speak. I go to him rather than calling out to wherever he is in the house. I ask him to do what I want him to do, looking into his eyes. I thought there would be a need for consequences, which worried me, since threats were what I was trying to eliminate. But so far, he just does it. Or asks why, I explain, and then... he does it. Turns out maybe I was the one with the problem. Communication. It's like magic.

I started a food diary again. I track my calories and my food, not with the intention of changing anything, but with the intention of being more mindful about my choices. When I have done it before, I felt really energized and powerful about my life. More in control of the things that should, generally, be under my control. It brings me a kind of hyper-organizational peace.

And then my partner sent me this blog entry. It confirmed everything i was doing. All these changes are from within, from listening to that part of me that already knows but so often gets drowned out in all the parts of me that fear. These changes are just the infrastructure that supports my being more mindful, more peaceful, more me. Each moment is a choice. Today I choose peace.

And I choose to make veggie sushi. Go me!

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